A log of the amazing adventures of earth's only true super hero.
Text: me
Images: stable diffusion with some nudging by me. First night cafe, then locally.
Daily updated with new adventures that will leave you gasping for breath..
Black cat, super hero, decides to participate in the prestigious New York Marathon. Hundreds and hundreds of human beings gather, compete. With only two legs. How could they stand a chance against black cat.
Remember: two legs slow, four legs fast.
And: no super hero: slow. Super hero: fast.
Bored by humankind's lack of speed, black cat decides to dive down all the way, and to find the mysterious city of Atlantis.
Before heading to its distant towers, black cat ponders what adventures may lie ahead? How will the water cats, a strange species of grim aquatic felines, react to black cat's presence? And will it finally find love?
Dear reader, you might be wondering why black cat dives down thousands of meters without any equipment. That is because, unlike certain so-called "superheroes" in certain other universes, black cat is not virtually invincible and immortal, but actually, really invincible and 9 times immortal. As such, black cat doesn't need to worry about mundane issues like having to breathe under water.
Under water, black cat meets creatures that are not cat, nor are they fish. And as talking underwater is difficult even for a super hero, it just curtly nods to the strange creature that approaches, decides Atlantis isn't the place to explore after all, gives up on finding romance there - what good is romance without claws? - and dives up at a speed us mere mortals would consider faster than light. Although it isn't. Not even black cat can move faster than light.
Done with cold and wet water, black cat heads over to Mars. For black cat, that's just a ten minute trip. Eagerly, black cat approaches what must be remains of a Martian civilization that, of course, humans have yet failed to find.
Black cat knows: it's part of a super hero's life to pose for a good selfie in front of UFO shaped martian buildings.
are not as insanely furry and strokeable as black cat and its earthen friends. After a delightful chat over Martian cat milk the two separate, black cat doing more Martian exploration.
As black cat walks the surface of Mars; it makes friendship with many martian cats, some of which so un-furry that human hearts would explode from just seeing them.
But black cat is not so fainthearted.
After animated and mind-enriching discussions about cat life on different planets, black cat decides it's time for actual, real milk (lactose free of course). 10 minutes later it sits in a nice Italian cafe, slurping the great white stuff. But how to reach the bottom of the bowl with its tongue? "Curse on you, image-generating AI", black cat growls.
Readers who are still unconvinced of black cat's true superpowers might frown now, might even think "there is no way that a cat can travel the vast space of our universe at (nearly) light speed, without suit and spaceship and stuff".
Here's the proof. Pictures don't lie.
It dived down all the way, it flew up to strange worlds. Where should black cat head next? What is left to discover? The only place left to discover for black cat is inside, so it spends years meditating in a Buddhist monastery. Hoping to have the purpose of its super hero life revealed.
After 2 years of mindfulness it yawns, stretches and continues its travels. Black cat's super hero mind is not for us to understand.
This night, black cat has an intense dream. Rather a vision than a dream, really. In the dream it sits in a mysterious forest, the kind of forest that cannot exist in our boring universe. But somewhere else.
A voice booms "Visit the hermit. Find the forest."
Black cat knows what to do.
Black cat cannot get the dream out of its mind. It starts wandering. Looking for the hermit.
Black cat walks the fiery desert, looking hard for the hermit. Needless to say that neither scorching heat nor gruesome sand storms could harm black cat.
Having found nothing in the desert, black cat heads for a deep forest. A forest, so deep, so black, so full of strange red eyes glancing at you, that humans would have retreated in panic. Not so black cat.
Finally, black cat finds the hermit in his retreat in the alps. The hermit tells it stories that it can't believe. As a super hero, black cat has seen everything that a feline could possibly see. But a mystical gate? In the middle of a forest? That leads to a different universe?
The black cat listens closely to what the hermit has to say. And then, without even saying goodbye, it leaves to the magical forest.
Even super hero cats don't always have the best manners.
Running at close to the speed of sound, black cat searches every inch of the magical forest. Hours pass. Black cat disturbes sleeping deer, mating wolves, drinking rabbits. It hardly notices them. It is too fast. And too deeply focused.
It's close to midnight. Black cat longs for cream and a good sleep. Even super heroes have limited patience with annoyingly hard to find gates.
And there it is. In a small clearing. A gate to a different reality. Where the sun is just rising. Knowing no fear, black cat walks through the gate without a nanosecond of hesitation.
What will it find on the other side? Adventure? Love even?
Passing through an inter-dimensional gate is inconvenient even for a super hero.
Black cat thinks about how much milk from giant alien cows needs to be there, over in the other dimension, to make this trip worthwhile.
Then the sensation is over.
Black cat, with the wisdom of a true super hero, has expected many a thing from an entirely different universe. But a broccoli planet? Where every bush, every tree are broccoli?
With its laser-sharp eyes, black cat spots a strange castle on the horizon. Maybe whoever lives there has the answer to this madness of green cabbage.
Even a giant broccoli cat can't shock black cat anymore. "At least it's black", black cat thinks and passes the cat as if it wouldn't exist.
Side note: the broccoli cat is fairly irritated by a disgustingly broccoli-free creature wandering by. But it recently had a good sip of broccoli milk, so it doesn't care and goes to sleep in a nice broccoli niche.
After a long and arduous journey - hopping from broccoli to broccoli is not its preferred means of moving - black cat arrives at Broccoli Castle.
Anyone standing in front of the mighty gates would be scared, awed, would enter trembling, weak-kneed. Black cat just steps in. Super hero style.
In the castle, black cat gets an audience with the Broccoli Queen.
"Why all is broccoli here, you ask" she says. "It's the killer snails. They eat everything. Only broccoli they despise. After millenia of evolution, only broccoli and snails survived on this cursed planet".
Black cat decides to help. And fight the killer snails. A true job for a super hero.
Please note: from here I have moved to my own tool for collaborative writing with AIs, so the following texts are a mixture of my sentences and sentences created by Llama 3, ChatGPT 4 and Mistral. Images are by DALL-E3 mostly.
After having met the Broccoli Queen, black cat was thinking hard. Some problems are hard to solve even for the mightiest superhero. He sat on a throne made of broccoli, surrounded by the queen's guards, who were all humanoid broccoli beings with gentle faces and powerful arms. “What can I do to drive back those snails” it thought. The Broccoli Queen, noticing Black Cat's deep contemplation, approached him and gently placed a broccoli floret on his shoulder, as if to inspire the superhero's legendary strategic mind. “Maybe”, she said, "we need to introduce a natural predator of the snails, something that won't harm the broccoli ecosystem."
Black Cat smiled. He knew exactly what to do now.
"I know just the creature," Black Cat declared, his eyes gleaming with a newfound determination, "We need to bring in the Slug Slayers, a species known for their love of snails and their harmless coexistence with plants.". Black cat had met the Slug Slayers when visiting the planet of Zorbia, a world covered in lush gardens and vibrant flora, where the Slug Slayers lived in harmony with the plant life, feeding on snails that threatened the ecosystem.
And so Black Cat traveled to Zorbia, at the usual near-light speed, to convince the Slug Slayers to help.
When Black Cat arrived on Zorbia, he couldn't trust his eyes. The entire planet was covered in a thick, slimy layer of slug trails, and the air was filled with the sweet, pungent aroma of decaying snail shells. Even with his superpowers, Black Cat couldn't help but wrinkle his nose in distaste as he landed on the squelching ground, his paws sinking into the gooey mess. What had happened? The once-lush, vibrant forests of Zorbia were now nothing but barren, skeletal remains, their trunks and branches covered in the same slimy residue that coated the ground, and the only signs of life were the Slug Slayers, who moved about with a slow, deliberate pace, their usually sleek bodies now dull and listless.
Black Cat approached a Slug Slayer. Being a superhero, Black Cat speaks all languages, also the highly complex one of the Slug Slayers. For your convenience, lowly reader, we're translating the discussion to human language. "Oh mighty slug slayer, why are you moving so slowly?" The Slug Slayer, its usually vibrant, iridescent shell now dull and covered in a thin layer of slime, slowly turned to Black Cat and replied in a weak, raspy voice, "We are poisoned, noble hero, by the very substance we once feasted upon.". "How is this possible, tell me!" Black Cat exclaimed. The Slug Slayer's eyes, once bright and full of life, now dimly gazed at Black Cat as it continued, "The snails, they have adapted, their slime now contains a toxin that neutralizes our digestive enzymes, rendering us unable to consume them."
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Black Cat was thinking deep deep thoughts, thoughts worthy the superhero that it is. Could it be that the fate of the broccoli planet and the fate of Zorbia are intertwined and that they depend on each other more than anyone could have ever imagined? Anyone except Black Cat, who was now staring intensely at the snail-slimed ground, its whiskers twitching with an epiphany that would change the course of history.
With lightning speed, Black Cat darted back to the Broccoli planet. There it grabbed as much Broccoli as it could carry. Seconds later it was back on Zorbia, feeding the dying Slug Slayers with Broccoli, the antidote to the evil slugs. As the Slug Slayers began to recover, their usually sluggish movements transforming into energetic writhing, Black Cat realized that the Broccoli's potency was not only a cure but also a catalyst, amplifying the Slug Slayers' natural abilities to devour the snails with unprecedented ferocity.
The Slug Slayer Spaceship was waiting already. Its captain, a towering creature with razor-sharp teeth and a kind heart, greeted Black Cat with a gentle nod of its head. "I'll help you", whispered Black Cat, and as soon as all Slug Slayers were finished boarding, and the spaceship finished lift off, they set course for Planet Broccoli, their engines humming softly in the silence of space. But the spaceship was slow, so slow, and the Broccoli creatures urgently needed help.
Time for Black Cat, superhero to assist. It flew behind the ship, unharmed by the fiery beams of the ship's fusion drives, and pushed. With every ounce of its super strength, Black Cat propelled the spaceship forward, cutting the travel time in half.